More and more couples are choosing to keep their wedding day private, away from the instant sharing culture of social media. While some love the idea of their big day being broadcast across Instagram and Facebook, others prefer to keep the moment intimate. But is it fair to ask guests not to post? And if so, how do you go about it without causing friction?
Why Consider a Social Media Ban?
Your wedding is a personal milestone, and you might not want photos and videos shared before you've even had the chance to see them yourself. There are also practical reasons:
Privacy – Not everyone wants their wedding details, location, or personal moments online. People are getting more and more turned off socials for all sorts of reasons. Personally, I use it for work but that's about it. I don't share much of my personal life on there partly because I don't really think anyway gives two shits what I had for my lunch, how nice the beach or what I think about Nigel Farrage.*
* Let's not go there 🤣
Guest Experience – A phone-free wedding encourages guests to be present rather than watching through a screen. I always remember the Osho book "Be Here Now!" I love that. Three words that remind us to be totally present. It's easy to forgot this when we are used to sharing everything through socials, but I think this is one reason why you hire a photographer. Let me preserve the memories so you guests can be fully present and really enjoy the moments as they happen.
Photography Quality – A sea of phone screens can ruin professional shots, and nobody wants their first look blocked by an eager guest’s iPhone. This is always a big one for me, whether you have a ban on socials or not. When I am capturing lovely photos of your ceremony, it's horrible to see a background of phone held up high.
How to Approach It With Guests
As much as you might want a social media ban, some guests will naturally reach for their phones out of habit. The key is to set expectations early and make it easy for people to respect your wishes.
Be Clear on Invitations Mention your social media stance on your wedding website or invites. A simple note like “We’d love for you to be fully present with us—please keep phones away during the ceremony and save any photos for after we’ve had a chance to share our own.”
Signage and Announcements A friendly sign at the venue can act as a gentle reminder. Your officiant can also mention it at the start of the ceremony, keeping it light but firm. They will be quite happy to do that for you and play the bad cop on your behalf.
Compromise With a Hashtag-Free Approach If a full ban feels too much, ask guests to hold off posting until the next day or after you’ve shared your professional photos. That's a fair compromise. You can also mark your social account to prevent anyone tagging you.
Provide an Alternative Consider setting up a shared album or wedding app where guests can privately upload their photos. This lets everyone contribute without making them public.
Is It Fair to Ask?
It’s your wedding, so ultimately, yes, it’s fair to set the rules. Most guests will respect your wishes, especially if you communicate them clearly and positively. It’s about striking the right balance—acknowledging that people love to capture and share moments while also making sure your day unfolds the way you want.
At the end of the day, your wedding should feel right for you. Whether you go fully offline or allow sharing with some boundaries, the most important thing is that you enjoy your day, uninterrupted.
As your photographer I will be only too happy to follow your wishes. While most of my couples are very happy to see their photos online, some ask me to wait a few weeks and others prefer me not to post anything. It's all up to you - as long as you're happy, I'm happy.
YOUR LONDON BASED DOCUMENTARY WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER
If you're looking for more than just posed photographs, if you want your wedding day to be documented authentically, capturing real emotions and heartfelt connections – then you've found your documentary wedding photographer. Get in touch and let's create memories together. Send your enquiry and you'll be able to download a free copy of my very useful Wedding Guide.
